Raging Bullshite

Now that Spielberg has withdrawn his creative input from the Beijing Olympics over the Chinese regime’s Sudan stance (screw Tibet, Darfur is soooo now), my mischief-gland tempts me to suggest Eli Roth as a replacement. Any Olympic opening ceremony in the styleeee of ‘Hostel’ would make my 2k8.

Actually: no. That’s way, way too kitsch and more importantly would make that purveyor of turd-rate torture porn think he was in some way culturally significant. He’s not. Instead I’m thinking lets roll out the big guns and get Scorsese on the case – I’m certain he can stand up to Mia Farrow and if not he can send round Joe Pesci to scare the living snot out of her (“I'm the Oklahoma kid. You fuckin' varmint. Dance. Dance!”) This way we get an opening ceremony based on ‘Gangs of New York’ with the Five Points lovingly recreated in bamboo where The Dead Rabbits, The Bowery Boys and the Know Nothings slug it out with various Snakehead gangs whilst diminutive Bulgarian gymnasts re-enact the final act of ‘New York, New York.’ Don’t know about you, but I’m getting’ myself a ticket RIGHT NOW…