Oh Dario, Where Art Thou?

‘Suspiria’ and ‘Inferno’ seem such distant memories now…The wait of more than a quarter-century finally over for the final part of the Mother’s Trilogy and what do we get? ‘Mother of Tears’, a splattery, gore-soaked mess that looks like a parody of one of the less desirable (!) Lucio Fulci flicks. Ropey CGI, amateur prosthetics, ludicrously random methods of murder (and not in a good way…) There’s the odd decent ‘Bus’ moment, but frankly to even use the phrase invented by the inimitable Jacques Tourneur is to crap on the memory of ‘Cat People.’ Oh yes! And Dario’s continuing obsession with filming his daughter, Asia, in varying degrees of undress is frankly getting VERY disturbing – he’s turning into the Woody Allen of giallo. One more thing: Okay, I know no one watches an Argento for the acting, but for the love of gore there must be some half-decent thesps in Italy!