Head on a stick!

Marat's Motor

Time for Bed

Get Ritchie Or Die Tryin'

The news that Madonna's new Africa awareness documentary was directed by her personal gardener should come as no surprise; her husband has been passing his own filmmaking duties off to his arse for years.

Online Stranger-Danger

Moo, motherfucker, moo!

Yes it lacks the incendiary freshness of face that ‘Reservoir Dogs’ brought to the table, the arty temporal shifts of ‘Pulp Fiction’, and certainly the coming of age “grown-up-ness” of ‘Jackie Brown’, but jeez everyone lay off ‘Death Proof’! Let me explain: Hot-pants – car chases – Kurt Russell. Job done. I stand, seemingly, alone in my admiration.

Though I’m sure there’s a joke here somewhere about standing too close to a fire making your “Kurt” Russell, just like the old one about making your “Googy” Withers – I. MUST. RESIST…

Soooo Zeus

Oh Dario, Where Art Thou?

‘Suspiria’ and ‘Inferno’ seem such distant memories now…The wait of more than a quarter-century finally over for the final part of the Mother’s Trilogy and what do we get? ‘Mother of Tears’, a splattery, gore-soaked mess that looks like a parody of one of the less desirable (!) Lucio Fulci flicks. Ropey CGI, amateur prosthetics, ludicrously random methods of murder (and not in a good way…) There’s the odd decent ‘Bus’ moment, but frankly to even use the phrase invented by the inimitable Jacques Tourneur is to crap on the memory of ‘Cat People.’ Oh yes! And Dario’s continuing obsession with filming his daughter, Asia, in varying degrees of undress is frankly getting VERY disturbing – he’s turning into the Woody Allen of giallo. One more thing: Okay, I know no one watches an Argento for the acting, but for the love of gore there must be some half-decent thesps in Italy!