"Somewhere beyond the Sea-berg...."

Juno what I mean? Innit...

So Juno rocks – how this managed to avoid soppy, cliché sentimentality I still don’t know. What weird spells employed? What sorcery was this? A film like this ought to have my cynicism gland oozing puss from my ears and crying tears of hatred…but no. I…liked…it. Actually (say it quietly) loved it. And it certainly wasn’t the venue – any film that can ‘play well’ in the wind-swept industrial wasteland of the Oxford-ring-road-to-hell (special guest appearance: Oxford FC’s Kazam Stadium, an slap in the face to even the most foaming at the chops fascist architect) must be doing something right. The ‘magic’ of a full-on night-out cinema experience was naturally raised to new heights both by the reel changes - clearly being undertaken by a one-armed epileptic wearing an oven mitt – and by the woman seated by my side (not Mrs B) whose cinematic tourettes disorder included the impulse to ‘conduct’ the Fox Searchlight fanfare at the start of the film. This, this! is why home cinema is the only way forward. In fact if home cinema was really trying hard to recreate the genuine article then the left-hand satellite speaker would generate a noise approximating the crunching of a nacho over your shoulder.

Hmmm yes back to Juno – it rocks! Great performances – though, as good as she is, Ellen Page stands as much chance of winning the Oscar as the tourettes-fanfare-woman from the cinema – fantastic script (again, no hope for an Oscar though, my money is on The Savagaes), catchy little soundtrack, blah, blah. Go see, just not at the Vue cinema in the arse-end of Oxford….

Together again! Bogart and Baaaaacall.

And they say you shouldn't mess with a classic! 'They' say way too much, me thinks...

meep meep

Good Knight and so long...

What a waste. A fine actor, a father, and a friend to many. The new media scramble to break details of Heath Ledger’s death first seem to have left the facts, details and truth in their digital dust. When I met him he was quiet, self-effacing and generous of spirit almost to the point of shyness. A good guy.

On a far, far lighter note – I get to whinge about TW again. My opinion of episode 1 vindicated by the utter shoddiness of episode 2 which was derivative to the point of legal action, had a plot so full of holes you have to suspect it was cobbled together with crochet hooks rather than Final Draft, and featured an all time low performance from wooden-top Barrowman. Note to top-secret operatives: If you show an alien around your top secret-base they will, absolutely will, then know all about where you work and what you do (is this only obvious to me.) To add insult to injury I had to miss Reaper because Mrs B wanted to give this pile of steaming slop “one more go.” Make me watch it again next week, I dare you! Grrrrr.

Or, Gregory Hines stars in the Prescotton Club...

Go home and get your fucking shine box.

Terry you old devil!

Erm... kinda icky in a "Harold and Maude" sorta way. No, no, not 'kinda icky'; wrong, just very,very wrong. Sorry.

TW still sucks

Well, nope, they couldn't (or didn't) fix it. TW still sucked large. Dull. Dull. Single-entendres that would make Sid James blush, Cardiff locations where the highlights were a container port and a multistory carpark, a few lame jokes and a stab at 'cool' by upping the number of American accents.

Makes 'Bugs' (come on you remember it) look like 'The X-Files'. Give it up Beeb, let its twitching corpse come to rest and rot - oh it already kinda has. Grrrr.

Not the bees,not the bees.

Show me Nick Cage and a hive of mad-as-hell bees and I'll be a happy man. Stop acting Cage, stop it, give it up or it's the mad bees for you.

Big it 'aint.

A little reseach reveals that Judge Reinhold actually looks like this now.

Tom licks the lid of life.

Handmade remade

This poster actually scares me - am I frightened of nuns or buns? Or buns in habits? Yeh, yeh, it's the last one for sure...

Monkey magic wawawawawa!

Bulletproof Monkhouse - gotta be better than the real thang...

I'd pay to see this (but not much)

She shoots, she scores

Hanks a bunch...

It's all Ian's fault that I got into this whole game of changing one letter of a film title and then dicking with the poster now I can't stop.

But have they fixed it?

So Torchwood's back - my inner geek needs to know if they fixed all the things that were wrong with the last series (they were legion), OK I'll give it a go, but this needs to be good 'cos life's too short for spin-offs that suck. I'm counting down.